Imagine: the classic songs you can’t stand
You know it’s coming. The sharp intake of breath. The “WHAT, it’s a classic!” Yes, you have blasphemed. Repent! You have disliked a song everyone else thinks is iconic. How very dare you.
I could have listed any number of songs here really, as I work hard at being contrary. But, for me, Imagine is the most painful of all. A dreary, milky-eyed plodder at best, it’s been made even more unbearable thanks to years of overplay and endless ill-advised cover versions. All of which are a good sight worse than the original. You may as well cover Twinkle Twinkle, Little Star. In fact, I’d rather you did.
Instead of banging on about Lennon’s inexplicably revered signature song for another five irate paragraphs, I thought it might be nice to ask the internet what other classic tunes set people’s toes a-curling.
These delightfully disgusted responses are my favourites.
Maybe you’ll find one of your own pet peeves in here:
Queen: Bohemian Rhapsody
“Dramatic falsetto and never-ending guitar solos. Brings me out in hives.”
— Ed C.
Elton John: Candle In The Wind
“UGH. Schmaltzy and overplayed. Lost any of the meaning it started out with.”
— Vikki J
Van Morrison: Brown Eyed Girl
“Kills my mood whenever I hear it.” — Ophelia C.
The Cranberries: Zombie
“Intensely boring.” — Emma C.
Bob Dylan: Like A Rolling Stone
“It’s his voice.” — Mary W.
Bon Jovi: Livin’ On A Prayer
“One of those songs that has drunks trying to put their arms around you and sing it in your face.” — Gareth H.
Tina Turner: Simply The Best
“A rallying cry for people unable to articulate their emotions.” — Karl T.
Wham: Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go
“Not sure why I don’t like it. It’s just a shit song.” Frankie G.
Killers: Mr Brightside
“Loved by louts.” — Rachel H.
B52s: Love Shack
“As a professional dancer in cheesy bars in the 90s I had to shake my arse to this time and time again.” — Kelly S.
Ed Sheeran: The Shape of You
“Overrated.” — Dee P.
Abba: Dancing Queen
“Reminds me of shit club nights, discos and wedding receptions.” — Rose C.
Blondie: One Way Or Another
“Used in loads of ads and promo clips. Also, I had drunken next door neighbours screaming it all night once.” — Craig W.
REM: Losing My Religon
“Michael Stipe’s whining sets my teeth on edge.” André S.
Band Aid: Do They Know It’s Christmas
“An absolute car crash.” — Liv S.W.
Oasis: Wonderwall
“It was shit then and it’s still shit now.” — Matt D.
Quite right too.
To conclude this parade of negativity, please enjoy this video of a bird shitting in a news anchor’s mouth.
Hi, I’m Penny. I wrote this post as part of the #write52 community project, which is the brainchild of my fellow freelance writer Ed Callow. If you enjoy writing and want to do more of it, you should check it out.
When I’m not posting horrible things and sharing gross videos, I make my living as a freelance copywriter and communications consultant. Find me on Twitter or Instagram — I’ll try not to slag off your favourite song.
